Monday, May 20, 2013

Damsel in distress...NOT!


We grow up being taught that there's strength in numbers. Size is one such number.

And in a very perverse sense, being identified and singled out as skinny puts me in a somewhat disadvantaged position more often than not. Why? Because being skinny has been reduced to being synonymous with being weak.

Now I'm not volunteering to prove my strength by challenging anyone to arm-wrestling or lifting weights. And I’m not saying I haven't done either before.

All I'm trying to say is that there's a distorted world view about what's really strength. Even physical strength. Emotional and/or spiritual and GawdKnowsWhatElse is a different battleground all together!

I believe that physical strength alludes to Immunity.
One of my most favourite anecdotes is when I'd been to a doc a couple of years back and his reaction was: “Long time no see”. 'Nuff said, I believe!
Seemingly healthy bodies are seen sniffling, coughing, etc when not popping pills, going through the rounds of tests and hospital visits. It's scary. Their size would seem to suggest that they're doing everything right. Apparently not.

And then there's Fitness. Let alone trekking, even a little brisk walking and/or taking the stairs has had so many break into a sweat gasping for breath. And these are the very same souls who do this very classy thing of burning their calories 'running the treadmill'.


My point? Just because someone is skinny does not mean that they can't lift a few things from place A and put them in place B. When people tell me, 'Don't take all of it. Just carry this one bag/box’, my thought bubble goes: “Seriously, save your condescending attitude for another dude or damsel in distress”. What makes it even more disgusting is when some people throw in the gender card: “But you're a girl/woman”. “Has no one else come with you?”” You'll be able to manage?”
Pardon me for being appalled but they're five friggin' cartons. Why'd you need an army to transport just that much?

P.S.: To appease those patronizing souls, I volunteer to give up carrying cartons and the likes if it means that I don't have to work. I didn't say I wasn't a sloth. Ability is very different from Desire.

We all know who the joke is on. And who is having the last laugh.  

Monday, May 6, 2013

Saath khayaali khoon maaf...


It’s got to be one of those phases where the writers of the story of my life as more than pleased with themselves as they are with me. The things I hear being said about me are very unreal, unimaginable to say the least. It’s in direct conflict with the very nature of my blog.

What’s been happening? Well, as always I have been meeting/bumping into people – some known at a rather personal level over shorter spans of time, others mere acquaintances even over longer spans of time. But yeah, people – people who are somewhat an ilk different from the once-upon-a-time type used to get under my skin…or well, wait, my skinny-ness!

I’d never have thought that meeting someone after almost five years would transpire into a conversation like this:
Person X: Oh my god! It’s so nice to see you. You’re looking so much better. You’ve put on some weight. I’m so happy to see you like this. Good good. You should continue to take care of yourself.
(Reaction too strong to put down into words. Smiled and grinned. Couldn’t stop until cheekbones started to hurt a bit)

And then a few days after that I met a friend after what seemed like an eternity (5 months does seem like an eternity when it’s your bum-chum)
Disclaimer: To be a bum-chum, you need to be in-your-face-honest at all times.
Bum-chum: Eli, have you put on weight?
(Reaction: Wait? You seriously asking or are you going to say I’ve lost something I claim to never have had? No, you really mean I’ve put on weight! HHAHAHAHAHAHAH – HAPPINESS!!!)

Another time a question posed by someone in a very random context (though at that point I must add that I was wolfing down some super delicious cupcakes *drool*)
Randomly concerned person M asking question: Why would you want to put on weight, ya? You’re perfect the way you are…
(Reaction: Me? Skinny me? Perfect? According to you. Super. Need to unearth more souls like you!)

Yet another time a colleague gets chatty over arm wrestling with me. Huh. Yeah my life is strange – but in a good way. Yeah, arm wrestling. This is what the conversation veers towards:
Colleague E: Thin people are stronger, dude. I have a friend I couldn’t  win arm wrestling against. Hmm, wait… *takes a step forward to look at me – resumes conversation* …she was thinner than you. You have legs. She had sticks in place of legs. Yet she beat me.
(Reaction: Recall that Hindi muhawara we had to frame sentences with in school ‘phoole nahi samaana’? I found my sentence!)

These are just a few. I mean, it’s just great to receive this kind of acknowledgment. I can eat all I want and claim to do so because I need to fit into my clothes without having to see a tailor who has to alter it. HAHAHH – fit into my clothes. Now how many people really can claim that.

But life’s no less interesting without the usual suspects trying to poke jibes and dig my bones. Tch tch to them. So this one time I had to get through a security check and then the females are taken aside so that the detector can complete its task and this lady security guard looks at me and shoots an-in-your-face-question: “Aap bahut patle ho? Thoda weight put on karna chahiye?”
HHAHA – Like I haven’t heard that before. But consequently I had this thought that I'd posted on Facebook: Is it being mean when you respond to a "You're too thin" with "Yeah. You're too fat too"? -- Isn't it supposed to be fact sharing? #koshchan

 I haven’t acted on that thought of mine. I’m too happy to care to be bothered and hence, it’s ‘saath khayaali khoon maaf’ from me! *grin*