Monday, June 17, 2013

O the things people say…

First they irk you. Then they numb you. Then you dumb them.
May be. May be.

I've written about many brief incidents in what I thought was aptly titled: A day in the life of you know who... and even later in a post on Khali and Me
 
While I've found the humour in the irony, there are some one-liners that I've heard so often that I do think they deserve a *cough cough* honourable mention, to say the least! And just in good jest, I've categorized them too. With my thought bubble in italics, So here goes...

Most lame remark: 
Arre you toh must not be eating only. 
YeahI live on love and fresh air

Most repeated remark: 
You’re on a diet o’what? 
Yup, I’m that “fat” (no offence) that I need to be on a diet

Most ironic remark: 
From now only you want to maintain your figure haan? 
Stick is a figure you mean?

Most frequently-heard-during-childhood remark: 
What men? You ate anything or just filled your stomach with water? 
I have some more left in the glass. Could I dunk you in it?

Most daft remark: 
You finished eating? You hardly eat. 
I was hungry. I wolfed my meal down. No time to talk about the weather. Hence finished eating. Problem?

Most freely available remark: 
You should eat more. This (referring to my size) is not good. 
I eat. I’m fine thank you. I don’t see the doc as frequently as you, so…

Most bizarre remark: 
You’re lucky – you can find clothes for yourself in the kids section too. 
Pity you – nothing even in the maternity section

Most self-defeating remark: 
You should put on some weight. *turns around speaks to someone else advising them to lose weight* 
*I rest my case* #win

Most paternalistic remark: 
Madam yeh size aapko aayega 
Dude! STOP. I’m skinny..YES. Shrivelled..NO! #ReasonsWhyIHateShopping

Most overrated remark: 
You’ve lost weight! 
Man! Seriously!!  That’s what this blog is all about!




Come to think of it - what would I be posting about if not for these guys! *grin*

Monday, June 3, 2013

That glorious moment...

I've had one too many. So many that quite a lot of them have made it to this blog!

It's time to add another...
Among the very many female eccentricities I remotely bear any affinities to, comes shopping. Yeah. I absolutely loathe it and would be happier without it but end up crappier with it!

What makes it an even bigger challenge is that I choose to embark on it as an annual activity such as 24 hours prior to Christmas. For the rest of the year I couldn't care less. Or at least that's what I hear myself say!

Christmas or no Christmas, however, besides just finding the right outfit, finding the exact desirable size of the said object is the biggest challenge of all. And I don't like altering my clothes – hence the complexities.

Another thing about shopping and clothes particularly is the size..of which XS is a misnomer! 

There are a few of these brands adorning mannequins (of which no more shall be said) that give everyone the impression that size zero or whatever it's called these days is the place to be. Allow me to enlighten you: XS reads eXcesS. Gettit?

So...you can imagine the delight when what was a mere hunch for the past few weeks got confirmed over this weekend.. that being ‘yours truly’, the sole rep of the skinny genus in all her not-so-ampleness has gained a few grams!!!

Pants need no belts to hang in there, t-shirts that fit right as does everything else. 

The cherry on the icing? For some brands that had been kind enough to allow their XS to read as eXtra Small, I find I have to force fit myself in to them now. Those random stray kurtas I had to get altered, I now fight arm and elbow to wriggle in and out of!

I now know what an achievement means, I guess!